"To Tell You the Truth" by Mou

Life feels weird, to tell you the truth honestly
Where once I used to care about politics, I don't give a shit
Where once I used to remember others prematurely departed,
my thoughts remain focused without me realizing it, on You.

Where once I was moved my world conflicts I now remain untouched.
Where once I could send you a text message when I missed you I send it but it remains untouched.

Other people seem to feel your absence more acutely.
I, I do not know how I feel it. It seems to me you are not gone, you are a constant presence in my head.

All I must do is look up to see your face smiling from the picture frame, to see your ethereal image in a chair where you once sat, now waned

Where you once stood, making faces at me, standing there once again, to hold out your arms to me

Oh Asif, how is it that I feel your presence and absence. At once I feel empty, wondering if I ever knew you, at once I feel overwhelmed, having known you.

I prod myself to tears when my eyes have been too dry.
I turn my thoughts to you, surprised to be already thinking of you.

Oh Asif, to tell you the truth honestly
I don't know how it is I feel living this life, aimlessly
July 14, 2008